Coffee for two

Sometimes answers to the simple (yet immense) questions can feel as illusive as picking winning lottery numbers. The whys. I remember how that was always one of my favorite books as a child, "The Big Book of Tell Me Why." Tell me why. Please. Why are people sleeping in the street? Why are children shooting each other? Why are some people starving while others are overflowing with bountiful feasts? Why aren't people kinder to one another? I never found answers to those questions in that big book.

I remember driving to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. I must have been eight or nine. We stopped at a traffic light and there, on the corner, was a man mouthing the words," Please help" through the window. I was on the safe side, ensconced In a warm blanket and the shared breath of my family on a crisp, late autumn holiday morning. He was on the other side. Cold, damp, hungry, alone. "How could I help you?" I thought. "I am only a little girl." The light changed and the car began moving ahead. Away. I remember resenting my parents for leaving that man on that corner.

A man stopped me on my walk this morning and asked If I had two dollars to help him get to Manhattan on the bus. I apologized for not having any cash. I didn't even have my wallet with me. I had only carried enough money to get a cup of coffee to enjoy on my walk. Ironically, the coffee cost two dollars. "I'm sorry," I said feeling like a tool. "I don't have any cash but I do have some fresh coffee, which might help keep you warm while you try to get to Manhattan." It was a feeble attempt to feel useful, to be kind, to do something, anything, to help lift the impossible, yet familiar, weight I felt in that moment. He put his head down and said, "I don't want to take your coffee from you." I paused not knowing what to say. I put the coffee down on the sidewalk and said with a slight smile, "What coffee?" As I walked away I glanced back and saw that he went to pick up the coffee cup. I had splurged and got the medium instead of my usual small. I was glad I did. It turns out it was the perfect amount for two.