Published on LOVE WHAT MATTERS

For the last several years my ex-husband has stored some of my furniture for me — a heavy, claw-footed antique couch and chair that I inherited when my great aunt died nearly twenty years ago. The pieces moved around with us over the years and eventually became part of our married household. When we divorced eight years ago they were moved to a storage unit until eventually making their way to my ex-husband’s house.

A few months ago, on the occasion of his engagement and upcoming wedding to his new wife, my ex-husband asked me to please remove the furniture. “It’s time,” he said softly. I understood and agreed to move the furniture out by the end of August, as their Labor Day wedding was fast approaching and they needed the extra room. Days turned to weeks, and I wasn’t able to secure a place to move the furniture, which at this point had been moved to their garage. “It’s ok,” they said. “We’ll just put a cover over it during the wedding.” (They planned to use the large garage space for part of the reception).

When I went to pick up the kids a few days ago I apologized again for not being able to get the furniture out in time and then jokingly asked if the couch came in handy for the wedding. My ex-husband laughed and looked down. “I wasn’t going to say anything because I didn’t want to make you feel bad,” he paused with a slight smile on his face. “But the photographer saw the couch and asked if we could use it in the wedding photos. He said it fit the aesthetic perfectly. I burst out laughing and felt heartened by the full circle-ness of it all. “See?” I said with a big smile. “I told you I’d be there in spirit!” Twenty years later, I never would have thought we would be laughing about using my family’s antique couch in the wedding photos for my ex-husband’s second marriage but here we are. Growing, learning, accepting and adjusting. Divorce is never easy or fun but once again, I find myself proud of the progress we’ve made (lumps and all).